My journey takes courage every day even if I feel fear sometimes

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

It's been a while...

It has been a LONG time since I have posted!!!! Wow! 

I have lost 70 lbs since last February and still have more to lose. I am at a standstill right now--not losing or gaining. I still want to lose 70 more lbs to reach my goal. I'm just not feeling motivated to eat right and exercise. Hopefully, things will change around soon. 

Friday, May 25, 2012

Sick but Going Strong

I have been sick but still going strong. I have not been to the gym at all this week but I worked out once. I don't have an appetite at all, but know I should eat something. So, I do.

I am so excited that I have joined an all women's gym!!! It opens on June 1st. I took a tour of the place on Tuesday and I am in love with it. It has EVERYTHING I want and in an environment where I do not have to worry about anything. It also has several things tailored for bigger women, mashaAllah!!! They will also have a ton of classes. I can't wait!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

What I Want and a Healthy Me

I was asked what I want from the 2-month Nadoona Body Makeover:
1) I would like to experience a transformation (mind mostly and then body) during these 2 months. Even though it is called a body makeover. I know my hardest battle is with my mind, emotions, thinking. So, I am looking for a mind/body makeover. I want to be taught new ways of looking at food and dealing with food and not just told what to eat, how much, and when. I say this because once the makeover is finished and no one is telling me what to eat or do, I need to be able to make healthy decisions on my own. I want to feel empowered and confident in my own ability to make very deliberate and healthy eating decisions not just sometimes but every single time I have a snack or meal. I do not expect to get rid of my cravings and the mad tug-of-war in my head over food in two months even though that would be AWESOME! Lastly, I want to gain tools that I will use successfully for the rest of my life.
I was asked what my definition of healthy was and to provide an example
2) My definition of healthy depends on if we are talking about healthy eating, healthy thinking, healthy relationships, healthy physical activity,a or a healthy weight. All around healthy for me means that I stay away from extreme rigidity. It means balance. A healthy me looks like a woman who is size 12-14, physical fit and strong, who eats without obsession whether the obsession is on eating the right things or wrong things. A healthy me intuitively knows what portions look like and naturally follows the guidelines for healthy eating. A healthy me can even have a piece of chocolate without eating the whole bag or can have a single serving or few bites of dessert without inhaling it all and wanting more. A healthy me is physically active in a very natural way through walking, swimming and dance. A healthy me does not cope by using food.

The Smell of Warm Bean Pie

Last evening, my parents' house smelled soooo good. My nose had such a feast as my eyes were looking for what it was that smelled so delicious. I knew it smelled familiar and sweet, but I could not determine what it was. Finally, my mom asked my dad where the bean pies were and that made me think, 'Ah, yes! The lovely smell is warm bean pie.' I looked around the kitchen and did not see it, but I just stood around inhaling deeply to enjoy the aroma while I could.

We ALL love bean pie in my family, but I don't eat it now because it is far too sweet and I do not need pie of any kind even if it is made with navy beans. If you have never had bean pie, you are missing out on something wonderful. If you have never had a warm or toasted bean pie, you have never experienced heaven in your mouth. lol

Buy a bean pie just once, we buy the mini ones. Toast it upside down on a Foreman or panini grill or even stove top and your house will smell so good and the pie will taste even better.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

I'm Not a Stalker

Last night, I realized that the ortho did not give me the knee brace. I planned to email him this morning when I got to work. Then, while closing my locker in the gym before leaving, my phone rang and I thought, 'don't forget to email or phone message the ortho about the brace late.' Surprise, it was the ortho calling me! I was so excited. He apologized for forgetting to put in the request for the brace and have me go get it down in the Cast Room. I told him that I had an appt this morning there anyway, and I was on my way shortly. We hung up.

When I turned to get my purse off the bench and leave, I thought, 'shoot!,' I forgot to tell him about my fall and how much more my knee is aching since last night and ask what to do about it. I was going to call, but just went on my way since it is impossible to get the doctor when you call the number back. I figured I'd just research on my own or message him later when I got to work.

I picked up my prescriptions (anti-inflammatories) for my knee, and refills on my inhalers and nose spray for allergies) and then went to the Cast Room. The guy who helped me was really nice. He put the brace on and showed me how to put it on correctly and told me to take it off before sleeping.

I left, got in the car, which was on the 2nd level of the parking structure, and reminded myself to tell the ortho about the fall, ask what to do, and also ask how tight the brace should feel. I always remind myself of things throughout the day because I am EXTREMELY forgetful. Seriously, they call me "The Absent-Minded Professor." No joke!

Anyway, as I am descending to parking lot to level one, I turn the corner and see a black man in scrubs walking with an ipod. I get closer and realize, OMG that is the ortho!!!! I pull up next to him quickly to avoid the car so close behind me hitting me and I scare the ortho. He backs up to a parked car quickly and looks totally caught off guard. I roll down the window and wave and say, "HIIIIII!!!" He takes his earpieces off, looks into my passenger window and says, "Oh, hi there!" So, I put my emergency lights on, put the car in park and jump out. He nervously comes over to my side of the car and I pull my leg out and ask if th brace is the right way. He showed me how to know if it was in the right place. Then, I asked him about the pain I am having after the fall last night. He said that I should have put ice on it and that I may fall again if I do not assist myself up with my arm instead of putting weight on my knee. We talked a little more about things I can do and then we said our goodbyes. Then, he turned around and laughing said, "and please stop following me!" I cracked up. It was hilarious! The way I swooped up on him probably could have seemed like I was waiting around the corner for him or something. This all gave me a good laugh this morning. I needed it. I also love all the syncing (synchronicity) in it thinking about calling/emailing...him thinking about emailing/calling...then, seeing him so randomly in the parking structure.

I don't believe in coincidences, but I am NOT a stalker.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Cotton Candy is NOT My Friend

I have always loved cotton candy. It is something I rarely have but thoroughly enjoy. It puts a smile on my face and makes me feel like a kid at the fair. I was offered some cotton candy (including the yellow flavor that is my FAVE) and I almost ate it. I held it in my hand for several minutes and the internal dialogue in my head got louder and louder. Just before eating it, the highest part of me said, "You will love it while you are eating it but you will hate it after its done. The serving was 110 and the container had 7 servings. Two months ago, I would have eaten the entire container or at least 3/4 of it. But, mashaAllah, today I sat the cotton candy down, said my almost tearful goodbye, and walked away without a second glance. I learned that cotton candy pretends to be my friend but it is my enemy.

I am proud of this accomplishment. It seems so small, but if you know me and my love of cotton candy, you know that it is no small thing that I did not eat it.

BIG ups to me! :-)

Patellar Tendonitis

I went to the ortho today. I don't know why I thought my knee would feel better just by finally seeing him. I had so much I was planning to write about the visit today, but now I am just really pissed off because I was holding my baby while sitting down, and when I tried to stand up, my knee pain was excruciating and I fell to the ground. AlhamduliAllah, one arm was still able to hold on to her but she still woke up from the jolt and screamed and screamed. I felt helpless. It sucked, and now I can't trust my knee when it comes to holding her when I am sitting down. Either I will have to stand up, put her down before getting up, just not holding her instead of letting her sleep in my arms, or waking her up and sit her down before getting up. Whatever.